Hey guys =) I hope you haven’t forgotten about me. I have had tons of thoughts for new blogs lately, but I just haven’t gotten around to posting. I feel like a suitcase packed to the max with thoughts. My only option now is to get rid of a few on here so I can be zipped up again. I’m really not sure where to start, seeing as there’s so much to say. I guess I’ll start by saying please pray for me. I am in such a pivotal point in my life. There are endless possibilities and detours I could take with my life now, and trying to sort through those is wearing on me. So to start….
MY FIRE IS DEAD
At the beginning of the year, I was ready for life. I was in fellowship with the Lord and I was rocking. My heart was on the mission set forth before me. And most of you guys know from past posts that I got a huge blessing of a job at Guitar Center. You also know how this has affected my relationship with Christ as well as friends and family. It really has not gotten much better. I find myself being content with mediocrity. I find my thoughts in places they should never be. My words, though they aren’t foul, are not lifting people up like God made my mouth to do. God is not first like I want Him to be. How long will I pretend my way is better? And believe that it is?
I know better than that. Everyday, I see God place stepping-stones for me to get out of this rut. Yet, I choose to continue to drown in my own flesh and refuse to acknowledge the One that made me. I know God is trying to refine me. I know He knows exactly how this will pan out. I’m just frustrated, broken down, and weary. Maybe that’s where I need to be. Maybe this is where I have needed to be for a while. Maybe I got the job so I could get so broken down, only to get built up stronger again. Now that I think about it like that, it sounds better =)
I’m just ready to get through this and have a stronger defense against satan’s tactics. I need to read my bible way more and pray way more and stop being a foolish boy way more. I’m ready to start a new chapter in my life and I want it to be God’s life I’m living, not mine. These past few months have been me living my life. I’m done with that because it just doesn’t work. I have tasted and seen true fulfillment and it’s only in God. Now, I just need to remember that on a daily basis.
Sorry this is a ramble-post, but I just needed to get it out.
Thanks for taking time to read about my life.
Love you guys,